It's been a few weeks. Here's the rundown:
- Busy season at work through April 18.
- my father in law died April 25.
- Mr. PW graduated Sunday.
And that takes us up to today.
It was my father in law's death that really shook me. Up until then, I was planning on resuming regular posting after busy season spit me out. But then Bill called us to tell us his liver was failing, and we dropped everything to be by his side, and then by his wife's side, for two weeks. And the stress and the grief made me very sick, and made me withdraw, as I an wont to do when I am stressed or sad.I've just felt numb, and tired, so tired.
My husband received his BA this weekend. Bill's wife and three other kids were there to witness it for him. Mr. PW's other family sets were there, as were my parents, and some very good friends of ours. We held an open house in our backyard. The weather cooperated as much as we could expect; after a drearily rainy spring, we had one day of sunshine, if not warmth. I don't know who to thank for that.
I can't expect everyone to have stuck around here, or to care why I've been gone. I never started writing to be internet-famous anyway. I'm still numb, and if I'm honest, I'm still very sad. Bill and I started off shaky but became such good friends over the few years I had him. I'm very sad that he only got to see half of his kids graduate high school. I'm very sad that he never got to see Mr. PW, with whom he had a tumultuous relationship, get his degree that he worked so hard for. I'm very sad he will never hold a grandchild or walk his young daughter down the aisle. I am happy he had the most dignified death that Stage IV colon cancer can provide. I am happy he got to pass at his home, surrounded by the people who loved him the most. I'm sad that there are many, many people in this world who will not have that blessing.
I'm sad I'm deprived of his love and guidance. I'm sad Mr. PW was robbed of his father far too early in either of their lives.
But as I was saying, I'm going to try to write again, and maybe things will get back to a new normal.