I had a baby. Three months ago.
Exactly three months ago, as a matter of fact. Though with my publishing history, it'll probably be a few days before this gets up.
It's been an experience, I tell you what.
She's been fun! I never thought I'd say that. She's been frustrating to the point of screaming, too. But she's been fun. Nine things other moms were right about, in no particular order:
1. It's hard. It is so fucking hard, you guys. There's no way to explain it, no way to prepare for it. Everyone finds it hard for a different reason.
2. It's different when it's your own kid. Before this kid I was amused but indifferent to kids, with the exception of a few beloved kids of friends. With her, everything she does is interesting/adorable/hilarious/fascinating.
3. It hurts you more than it hurts them. When she's overtired and sad I feel so bad for her. I can't take her suffering, even on the minuscule scale that is a tired afternoon. I want to just fix it. On the other hand, her two month shots made me burst out laughing, because I'm terrible and found her outrage funny.
4. You can get by on much less sleep than you thought you could. I don't think there are adequate words to describe the head-cloggingly bone-deep fatigue that accompanies a newborn. I've nodded off while feeding her more times than I care to admit. But each day I somehow manage to pull it together. This is partially due to Mr. PW holding up his end of the late-night feedings.
5. It all goes way too fast. She's already out of all her newborn clothes and she's almost out of her 3 month clothes and before I know it I'm going to have to buy her a prom dress.
6. You worry about twice as much as you used to. I definitely still do the thing where you watch the chest to make sure they're still breathing. I don't think I'll ever stop doing that.
7. Babies are boring. Sorry, they kinda are. I actually like it when she's sleeping. I can watch her be angelic for a while and then go wash dishes. When she's awake, after a while, I run out of ways to keep her occupied. I hear they get super fun as toddlers. And by fun I mean exhausting.
8. Your empathy changes. I was already burdened with far too much empathy. I worry all spring when the ducklings and goslings start to appear near roads. Now I can't read any stories about children suffering, either. Humans of New York has been tearful torture this week. My work's Big Read is Evicted and I'm going to have to hard pass because homeless children will haunt my sleepless nights.
9. You fall in love with your husband all over again. This time as a father, which has been the sweetest damn thing to witness. He's in love with her and it's so special.
I'll try to get a brief post about her birth up before we move on with our lives.